How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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