It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
