Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
