the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
