READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
