eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
