Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
