And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
