Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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