You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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