You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
