addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
