standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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