just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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