so explain again why im purple
no
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
