What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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