I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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