Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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