there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
