I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
