i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
