was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Blood and glitter go together right?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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