It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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