Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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