I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
