Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
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