NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
