epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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