i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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