He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I enjoy the company of your penis
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
