Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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