I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You need a sexual gate keeper
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
