i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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