I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
