I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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