Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
