We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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