Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
