So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He better not be in your backpack
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
