I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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