butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
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