No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
