all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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