I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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