i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
