If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I need to align my fucking chakras
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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