Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize