apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize