If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
