Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Randomize
