You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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