More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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