I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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