I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
