She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You have to summon your inner elephant
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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