I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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