I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think people are normalizing furries
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
