Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My breasts were aching with rage.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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