I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
