It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
