You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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