One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
