Got a toothbrush?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
