6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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