Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
