Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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