Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
