He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize