im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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