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We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
