i think my mom watched the whole time
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
