He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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